I make light of it, but being disorganized is compromising. Actually it’s not exactly that I’m disorderly (cuz I haz strategies for dat), it’s the way my brain functions best under pressure (which means it sets me up for last minute rushes by ignoring deadlines until the eleventh hour), it’s the way I don’t remember superfluous details (like deadlines, and birthdays), it’s the way I can’t focus – until I can, and then I can barely disengage enough to comprehend what people are saying. Not optimal when raising children. It’s the way that, despite my intentions, I never can get hold of a Round Tuit.
It’s the accumulation of these little deficiencies that create the appearance of chaos, and that unpleasant feeling of being perpetually tardy.
Calendars, liberators and warlock’s cats
Sadly, it’s taken me longer than it should have to cotton on to technology, but I have developed some strategies to outwit my neurotype and deal to deadlines and dates, and its name is Google Calendar.
Google calendar and its auto-syncing correlate, Android calendar, with affiliated notifications, are my liberators and deliverers. I mean, paper calendars are great and all, but you have to remember to look at them first.
It was never going to be any different. I was pretty much doomed to this fate. I don’t know if an ancestor stole a warlock’s cat or something, but the curse runs in the family. Both sides. As in, don’t come to the family pile expecting any semblance of normalcy.
The Chaos Path
Dr Gabor Mate is very illuminating on the topic of ADD, how kids ‘catch’ it, and how it affects their lives into adulthood – it’s not just a kiddie disorder, as people who have it know (unless of course they don’t, which is sometimes the case). Dr Mate himself was diagnosed only at 51, and it only occurred to me that there might be something wired fundamentally differently in my brain after my children were born with similar traits, and I was diagnosed after my son, just for my own information.
I see a diagnosis primarily as a term to google. It’s a label; whether it’s useful depends on what you want it for. When I got diagnosed the first thing I did was google the hell out of ‘ADD’ for a while. Forums are great places to get information from the coalface rather than from ‘experts’ who haven’t walked the walk, and there are forums for adults with ADD/ADHD.
So I know there are a lot of us around, and like any difference, it can be disorientating to be off the bell curve. Which is why I thought I’d blog a bit around it, because if I’m honest about my disjointedness, it might resonate with others. I’m no guru and don’t want to be anyone’s guide; I haven’t even got my own head properly together, but I know what it’s like to walk the chaos path.
So if you’re new, welcome to Chaos Girl’s blog, where I’ll be writing about wrangling chaos.
You know, when I get around to it.